Question: “I have a magical question for you. Is there a practice you do when you are trying to attract a person toward you?”
Answer: First off, it is against my magical ethics to do any kind of spell with the intention of controlling someone else. So, I wouldn’t even consider any of those “write your beloved’s name on a leaf” type of charms. Instead, I would focus on heart-centered meditation.
When I worked at Natural Magic, the rote advice was “you have to love yourself first” and we would encourage people seeking love magic to focus inward. I understood that on an intellectual level and I worked on that myself, but at that time in my life that idea still had some hollowness for me.
What changed everything for me, making love magic real and deep, was Stephen Harrod Buhner‘s The Secret Teachings of Plants: The Intelligence of the Heart in the Direct Perception of Nature. It was one of those books that illuminates something I knew was over there in a dark corner, but that I didn’t have enough light to see. The book is divided into two sections – systole and diastole – the two phases of the heartbeat. One is rational, the other poetic. One contracts and builds pressure, the other relaxes and allows flow. My science-mind needed the tight, rational explanations offered in “systole” in order to be able to relax into the mythopoetic “diastole” of direct communication with plants. More than explaining the mechanics enough to allow me to believe me own previous experience, the book provided a map to cultivate my heart’s abilities.
After reading the book, I began to practice. I found it easiest to do in the bath, something about being in water makes it easier for me to be conscious of my heartbeat. I learned to be able to bring my consciousness of self into my heart-center fairly easily. Then I began to practice sending and receiving from that center. The results were uncanny. I found myself able to get a cold, irritated person to melt into harmony with me and open up into a smile. I practiced on plants and animals, feeling connected and allowing flow between us.
Then, one day I was at the Brooklyn Museum (a wonderful place, by the way) and feeling grouchy. I practiced sinking into my heart and wondered “what happens if I try to reach out from my heart to works of art?” Oh! Delight! The beauty I could feel echoing inside was almost overwhelming. When I came to this magnificent piece, I could hear it sing!
So much of the modern work stabbed at me. The pain it expressed hurt me so. The difference between cultures that thought with their hearts instead of their heads was so obvious in the works of art that came out of them. I could feel in my body that our hearts are so hardened that we can make conceptual art that brutalizes someone heart-centered.
Oh no! The lights were dimmed. My time was almost up! So much more left to experience! What would happen if I literally followed my heart? I allowed myself to feel the pull, and went toward it. I passed so many beautiful things as I scurried down corridors. I wanted to stop and look and drink in each piece, but I was running out of time. What was pulling me? I rounded a corner, into a side gallery and there she was: Goddess of a heart-centered culture, heart forward, calling to me, pulling me toward her.
Since then, this practice has remained an integral part of my life. It has increased my spiritual power in so many ways. It is a way to send love, to check to see how people are doing, to talk to plants, to experience art, and so much more. I’ve come to see it as an essential spiritual skill, one that helps to create the possibility of greater personal cultivation and healing power. It leveled up my magic abilities.
So, to answer the question, my advice to you is to practice heart meditation. Learn to feel your heart as your center of thinking and feeling. And then learn to send and receive from your heart. Transmit your goodwill to this person you want to attract. Use your desire as fuel to cultivate yourself. Leave that person to follow their own will. Or, you could just call. That might work, too.